Skyrim A Wolfish Tale
by J'zirra
Summary: Sivanna is a werewolf, but no one can know, they must only see a Nord. She is destined for a life alone, until she meets another of her kind and begins to wonder if she could live an almost normal life. Is it safe to love and be loved, or will she loose her humanity to the wolf inside her? Vilkas/Oc Farkas/Oc pairing. MA for sexual content and language (spoilers) I don't own Skyrim
1. Awakening

**Hi there, this is my first ever fanfiction, so if you have any tips or pointers let me know :) Any suggestions on where you'd like the story to go would be taken into account as well. I'm not quite sure how to efficiently use this site yet, so any help would be greatly appreciated! Enjoy!**

**Awakening**

Sivanna opened her eyes, frost outlined the orange and yellow leaves she had curled up on. Cold air nipped at her skin, and she pulled her cloak closer to her body. The sun was rising, giving the forest a brilliant golden hue. A brook gargled and popped soothingly nearby, birds sang songs to each other in honor of the new morn, and a few deer grazed off in the distance, enjoying the last bit of grass before the freeze could take it all away. Everything was beautiful...all but Sivanna. Dried blood covered her face, and had dribbled down her neck all the way to her stomach. Her amber eyes were bloodshot and her lips were cracked and dry. Next to her was a pile of flesh and fur, which she had caught during the night. Sivanna sniffed, _deer_, she thought to herself. She had hunted down this deer and eaten almost all of it.

She lifted herself up, her long chestnut hair spilling over her shoulders. A few leaves fell from her head, and she proceeded to remove small twigs and other debris from her hair. As cold as it was, she couldn't be seen covered in blood and barren of clothes save her cloak, it would raise questions. After all, werewolves were frowned upon for lack of control. With a shudder, she walked to the brook and began washing off the night's adventures.

The beast within was placid, satisfied with itself for escaping its bonds. Sivanna was not ashamed of what she was, it was not a choice she was given, she had been on a hunting trip in the woods and attacked by a savage werewolf. She was afraid, not of what she was, but of what she would do. Afraid of the loneliness that was surely her destiny; there was no way she would ever be able to love safely, she couldn't hurt anyone...she wouldn't, not again.

A memory flashed in her head; _her fingers caressed his strong shoulders, her body wrapped around him. He whispered to her softly,"I know you won't hurt me, we're in love, and nothing is stronger than love." Hesitantly, she let him kiss her, the softness of his touch a comfort that she had missed. "I love you.", she said. He smiled at her, "I love you, too." Her breathing quickened slightly, but she kept the beast in check. Sivanna was proud of her control, she was so afraid that this wouldn't work, that she would hurt him. Reaching for his back, her nails pushed slightly against his skin. The closeness they shared, his hand caressing her cheek...it was what she always had thought it would be, pure love._

_His kiss became more desperate, his breathing hard, sending shivers down her spine. "Sivanna...", he whispered. She gasped, the wolf was ready. It hit her like a rock wall, making her scream. She writhed, her partner didn't understand what was happening! _No!_ She thought desperately_, I can't hurt him!

_The wolf was excited, and Sivanna watched in horror as her hands started to grow long claws that were digging into her partner's back. Sivanna's legs popped and her face stretched, her ears pointed themselves and her eyes turned yellow. Brown fur seeped its way through her skin and as her teeth sharpened she saw the look of love and trust in his face. He wasn't afraid! She wanted to tell him to run, but speaking was not possible with the mouth of a wolf. A tail, long and bushy sprouted itself from her behind, and as the rest of her body clicked itself into place, she howled. Long and sad, because she knew that this was goodbye, the beast was going to kill her lover._

_Sivanna's wolf took over her mind, it was hungry and there was an intruder in her arms. It's lips pulled back in a snarl and alarm spread throughout the man's face. "Sivanna!", he cried as she threw him across the room. The wolf crouched, ready to pounce on him. _No! _she pleaded with the wolf, _Not him, please...do not kill him! _The wolf snarled at her, it couldn't understand what she was feeling, Sivanna tried to keep the wolf distracted long enough for her lover to escape. Yet he just stood there, in the corner of the room, looking at her with love and patience. He thought she would gain control...she had to try! She had to overcome the beast for him!_

_The wolf was too strong, it overpowered her and took over their shared body. She jumped onto her lover and bit him in the shoulder. He screamed, fear pouring from him finally, and the wolf drank it in like a Nord with honey mead. Another bite to his side and he began to struggle, this excited the wolf. Inwardly, Sivanna was screaming at the wolf, trying hard to stop what was happening, but she was too late. The wolf took one last look into the eyes of the man Sivanna loved, she saw an emotion there, but couldn't understand. _Love,_ Sivanna said to the wolf, _he loves you_. For a moment the wolf sat there, on top of the man, baffled by the look on his face. The fear scent was gone, and the man was looking into her eyes with warmth and promises of safety. Slowly, she backed off the man. and cocked her head at him. The smell of blood permeated the room. He tried to sit up, and failed. His injuries were too great, the wounds too deep. She took a small step toward him, crawling on all four. Just then the door burst open, guards filled the room and the wolf panicked_. "Werewolf!", _they screamed."Kill the werewolf!"_

_She bolted, tail between her legs, to an open window. It was too small, she struggled with the window, and finally got free. As she ran from the house the guards yelled,"He's been bitten, kill him! He's no longer human!" Sivanna screamed in her head so loud that the wolf howled, as she tried to drown out the screams of the man she loved as he died._

Looking back, Sivanna wished she had urged the wolf to turn and attack the guards before they killed him. But there had been too many, and she had received many arrows to her flank during her escape,there was no way could have saved him. She sighed, "Love isn't for us", she told the wolf. "Love is for fairy tales."


	2. A Fork In The Road

**A Fork In The Road**

_"Thief!", _cried the guard! "That wench has robbed me of my garments!"

Indeed. Sivanna had stolen the garb of a watchman who had been as drunk as a skeever in a wine barrel. She snickered to herself as she slipped on the armor. With the helmet in place and a sword in her hand, she ran around the mill she had been hiding behind and charged in the direction the misguided watchman was pointing.

"Thank the Eight!", he said relieved. "Someone has come to aid me!" The guard paused, struck with a bout of dumb. "Hold on, I'm the only watchman on this road!"

By the time he had realized she had tricked once more, Sivanna had already turned a corner and headed into the woods. She took a bite of the dried apple she had found in the pocket of the purple tunic. The watchman wouldn't follow her into the wilderness, they never did. She sighed, as much as she liked being fully dressed, she didn't like always being on the run. Soldiers were the only people she ever stole from, save for bandits, and yet she still felt guilt. It could not be helped, she had to have clothes and the wolf didn't fancy leaving them whole when she shifted.

Sivanna looked to the east, it was brighter now and the road behind her seemed almost as though it led straight into the the fiery sun itself. She rummaged through the other pocket and found some dried salmon steak to nibble on. Sivanna had never enjoyed fish, but beggars were not choosers. After making sure the watchman wasn't coming, she started down the road, away from the sun. _Where am I to go now?, _she asked herself as she nawed on the steak. _If I find another town that would accept me, I cannot stay long. The wolf will be a danger... _Sivanna pushed the thought away, she would cross that bridge when the time came.

Up ahead a fork in the road was marked with a sign. She looked at it, two pieces of wood were nailed to either side. On one, the word Whiterun was etched decoratively into the sign, and the other had the word Falkreath carved into it just like the other. She had been near Riften when she had awoken this morning, Sivanna had traveled a good distance. Sivanna closed her eyes and let her scenses fully awaken, she let herself smell the rotting leaves on the ground and the honey from the bees nest in the trees. She let herself hear the fox barking in the distance and the birds flying high above her head. She loved the forest, but was time to leave.

Opening her eyes, she glanced at the sign one more time. She had heard of Falkreath, of it's massive graveyard. _That's the last place I wish to venture to,_ she thought as she headed in the other direction. _Maybe this Whiterun will hold something better for me..._


	3. Invitation

**Ok, so things are finally going to get good :) I'm really excited about my next post, but I'm a little unsure if I should post it today or wait a day. I could definitely keep going, but I guess I'll just wait and see what kind of attention this chapter gets first. Let me know how I'm doing, I'd love some tips and fellow writer criticism ;) hope you like it!**

**Invitation**

It had been three days since Sivanna had chosen to follow the road to Whiterun. The moon was large and bright above, and it sang to her inner wolf. In Sivanna's mind she pictured her wolf baying and howling at the moon, but smells of livestock and sweet smells of fire reached her nose. She was close to a town, most likely this Whiterun. The wolf inside her whined, and Sivanna knew that if she didn't change tonight and satisfy the wolf...there would be dire problems later.

Sivanna looked ahead, to the right side of the horizon was a large structure. There was a very tall rock wall surrounding it, so she couldn't see what was inside, but she could see small farms circling around its side. Directly ahead of her were two buildings and a wind mill guarded by a lone watchman. She sniffed, _I smell mead, lots of it._ She thought to herself, _One of those buildings must be the town's supply_. Sivanna sniffed again, this time more deeply. Smells of wild game and forest reached her nose, and the wolf almost burst from within her, but something was strange...

The wolf was too impatient to worry about such things, so Sivanna had no choice but to skirt the road and head into the forest. Once she was certain that no one would be in endangered by her wolf, she began to undo the leather strips that held on the stolen watchman's armor. Her beast was almost giddy with delight her, and Sivanna was more than a little excited to shed her skin and taste the freedom.

After Sivanna had shed all of her clothes, she dropped to the ground and let the change take her. Since she was willingly changing, the pain was slight and there was no struggle of in between forms. Sivanna's bones snapped and popped and her muscles stretched and moved themselves into place. Chestnut colored fur sprouted all over her body, and as the wolf settled in the forefront of her mind she lost herself to the bliss of the animal. There were no worries as the wolf, she was a hunter. Stealing and insecurity didn't exist for her anymore. She was truly free from the problems of her other not so furry form.

The wolf lowered its head and inhaled the scents on the forest floor, rolling in the leaves as it tried to remove the very "human" scent from its fur. It howled happily and darted through the trees chasing deer or anything that moved. Sivanna wasn't hungry yet, so she was not interested in catching the animals. She ran farther into the forest and up onto a cliff that overlooked Whiterun, to Sivanna it was beautiful, but to the wolf... it was dangerous.

Sivanna began to turn away, but she smelled something strange. Her hackles rose, a growl formed deep within her throat. Fear scent filled her nostrils, and it took her a moment before she understood that it was her wolf that was afraid. This worried Sivanna, she tried to identify the smell...it seemed vaguely familiar, and yet different. Her beast flashed a memory in her mind, trying to explain to Sivanna what she was smelling. _Wolves._

She still didn't understand, she had encountered wolves on nights like these yet never had they a scent such as this. The wolf snorted at her, sarcastically. Then it dawned on her, it was the scent of werewolves! She inhaled deeply, there were at least five of them that had been here, but only two recently. Her beast was starting to get curious, and homesick; they had never seen a pack before, and her wolf longed for their company.

Before Sivanna could think things through, she howled. It was a challenge, an invitation, and a request all in one. _What do we do now? _She asked the wolf. Of course, the wolf didn't answer. She only sat on her haunches and watched the town below with a furious amount of attention. Sivanna was about to tell the wolf that she had gotten her hopes up for not, when she heard an answering howl.

The sound came from behind her, further in the forest. The wolf shivered, stood, and howled again. Sivanna was starting to worry, _were werewolves friendly to others of their kind?_ Her wolf flashed another memory, this time it was a pack of wolves all running together. Normal pack behavior, they were social creatures and life alone was never long lasting. Sivanna still was not convinced, but it was too late. Two pairs of amber eyes were approaching her slowly. _I hope you know what you are doing! _She whispered to her wolf.


	4. Initiation

**Worked really hard on this chapter, looked up a little about wolf behavior to make it as realistic as I could. I'm pleased with how it turned out, I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reading!**

**Initiation**

Sivanna froze, the amber eyes were approaching her slowly. One pair circling to her right, the other to her left. Her beast stood tall, waiting to see what these other wolves would do about her intrusion in their territory. The wolf on the right half barked, half growled at the wolf on the left. She looked curiously from one to the other. The werewolf on the left was much larger than the other, with wiry dark brown fur. It was deep in thought as it approached her, eyes staring into hers. It stopped about a foot away from her muzzle and growled questioningly, as if to say _Who is the dominant here, me or you? _Sivanna's heartbeat sped up as her beast lifted it's long muzzle toward the sky, baring her throat to the larger wolf.

Sivanna knew this was a sign of submission, and that it was the best way to earn favor of a pack. The larger wolf softly pressed his nose to the fur that covered her veins, a sign that he accepted her offering. The beast lowered it's head and looked into the eyes of the wiry wolf. He smelled of male musk, and sandalwood and his face although not human seemed...kind. Sivanna found herself drawn to him, her beast wanted to bury it's muzzle in his fur and relish the scent of him. He was the very first werewolf she had ever met after being bitten.

The smaller wolf behind him growled slightly, and the wolf in front of her stepped back. This other wolf had black fur that shone with a silvery tint under the moon. Sivanna knew without having to touch that its fur would be silky soft. It's face, unlike the other, held what seemed like a scowl in place as it stepped toward her and looked into her eyes. They both stood there, unmoving, waiting for the other to look away and submit. Eventually, Sivanna convinced her wolf that they would not be able to escape if a fight broke out, so she lifted her head high once more.

The scent of this new wolf filled her nostrils, also a male, but he smelled like a spice...cloves; sweet and inviting, relaxing. Yet when her muzzle pointed to the sky, he didn't touch her throat like the other, he _bit _her. It did not hurt, he bit gently, right over her most vulnerable veins and growled softly. _What does this mean?_ Sivanna asked her wolf worriedly. Her beast shivered as he let go, feeling how close to death she had been. She flashed a memory as answer to Sivanna's question, three wolves standing side by side. One stood in the middle, head held high. It was the alpha, and the wolf beside although larger was only beta. The last wolf stood almost behind the others, head low, clearly submissive to both wolves. _So we're at the bottom then?_ The wolf said nothing, Sivanna took that as a yes.

Sivanna's beast lowered itself to the ground and rolled on her back, as if to say _I accept my place._ The smaller wolf, the alpha, howled. The larger one, who Sivanna assumed was the beta joined his alpha. For a moment, Sivanna lay there in disbelief. She was being initiated! Sivanna sat up eagerly and howled with the others. In the distance, other voices responded to their call, to their alpha. The sound died down and the leader looked at Sivanna, then turned and started sprinting through the forest. The beta wolf whined encouragingly at her and followed the alpha.

She followed them eagerly, running and leaping over forest debris. The alpha led them out of the forest and onto the plains past Whiterun where the deer could be seen grazing. He dropped to all four and lifted his tail so the others would stop as well. A large deer stood about fifty feet from the rocks they were crouched behind. Without looking away from the stag, the alpha flicked his left ear and the beta took off. He began to skirt his way around the deer. The alpha flicked his right ear and Sivanna's beast copied the beta's moves. They both stopped on either side of the stag, who was still unaware of their presence. The formation the three wolves had made was a triangle, and it sealed the fate of any animal ever to get caught in the middle. This deer stood no chance.

The alpha ran at him, and after a few moments Sivanna and the beta followed. Fear scent permeated the air as the alpha bit the throat of the great beast, killing it quickly and quietly. Sivanna and the beta sat back and waited for the alpha to eat his share before joining. The beta got to eat before Sivanna, and her stomach growled. Finally it was her turn, this was all an ancient ritual, symbolizing her joining the pack. Her beast roared its happiness and the others echoed her.

After eating their meal, they trotted back to the forest, full and sleepy. The two wolves led Sivanna to a large tree that had two sets of armor laid neatly upon it's roots. _Damn! _Sivanna thought, _where did I leave my armor? _The other wolves fell to the ground and started to shrink back into their human bodies. _What should I do? _Sivanna asked her beast, but the wolf was already receding. Her fur gave way to skin and her claws turned back into fingers. The muzzle retracted and was replaced with her full red lips, her shoulders shrank into a more feminine shape and her legs were once more slender and human. Her skin was bright in the moonlight, pale and smooth. She felt so naked, bare.

The other wolves had already put most of their clothes back on by the time she had fully shifted back. She tried, and failed to cover her intimate parts, while looking over the two men before her. The beta, a nord, was extremely muscular and very tall, with shoulder length brown hair that had slight waves. His grey eyes held held hers, they were beautiful. His face was handsome, with strong features and stubbly whiskers across his lower cheeks and chin. He smiled at her, "New blood.", he said softly, "Do you not have any clothes?" His voice was gruff and manly yet soft at the same time, sexy. She shook her head mesmerized by him.

"You will borrow a tunic then," the alpha said. His voice was heavily accented, sexy in a rough way, though not at all as soft as the beta's. The alpha tossed her his white tunic, Sivanna caught it and looked at him. He was taller than her, with a strong body build that she very much wanted to touch... once. His hair was long and black, yet shorter than the beta's. His face was similar to the larger man's as well, but it was less squared than the beta's. His eyes were a hard grey-blue, as if he were angry. He had a beard, yet he had much less than the larger wolf's.

"But...but your armor will chaf!" she said nervously. He walked to her until his face was inches from hers, "Would you rather walk into town in nothing but your skin?", he breathed into her ear. Sivanna thought she would melt, his breath tickled her neck and she shuddered.

"As I thought." he said triumphantly,"Now put it on and lets go." She slipped the tunic over her head, it was a few sizes too big, but it would have to do. She looked at both of the men.

They looked from one another to her, and the larger man said, "Your name, newblood?"

"Sivanna.", she said.

"Where do you hail from?", the alpha asked.

"I was born in Dawnstar, but I have no permanent stead.", she answered softly.

They exchanged looks,"Where are you staying?" the beta asked.

"I...I sleep in the woods.",she whispered."I have no gold so I may stay at no inn."

"Then you will come with us.", the alpha stated. There were to be no questions, it was an order.

"Wait...", she said hesitantly,"Are you sure you want me to go with you? You know nothing of me, and I you."

The alpha stared at her for a moment, thoughtful. "I am Vilkas, and this is my twin brother Farkas. Now lets head home, I'm ready for a pint of mead and a warm bed."


	5. Who Knew

****** hope I'm giving you all the information needed to understand what is going on, but if I'm not just let me know and I will try to fix it. :) I feel like I'm getting better with each chapter, but that might just be me getting big headed lol either way, I hope you enjoy the story!**

**Who Knew**

Sivanna's jaw dropped, she never knew that Whiterun was so large! Even at this late hour, the city looked magnificent! The walls towered high above her as she followed Farkas and Vilkas through the heavy wooden gates. No people adorned the streets, but a few guards patrolled. Farkas glanced back at Sivanna and slowed to her pace. He chuckled slightly and gently closed her mouth. She jumped at the touch making him laugh harder. Sivanna wasn't used to this...intimacy. Though it was innocent, she was still uneasy. No one had touched her since...

"What seems to be the problem?" Farkas asked, his voice filled with genuine concern.

Sivanna realized that she had stopped walking, and stood in the middle of the street gawking at him. She face reddened and looked at her feet, they were bare and dirty on the cobblestone road. "I just...", she struggled for words."I've never met another wolf, and I haven't been touched since I..."

Farkas' face softened,"There is no need to be afraid of me, I'm not as mean as you may think."

"Oh no! That isn't what I meant!", she exclaimed."I meant that I'm not used to companionship." Sivanna hoped she had not offended him, he was very kind.

"_Companionship_," Vilkas said over his shoulder,"is what we are heading for. If you cannot handle being around people or being in a pack, I suggest you return to the woods."

He said the words like it was just a fact that she had to come to terms with, or spend her life in alone. Sivanna felt rejected, he did not want her to stay. Her beast growled, trying to comfort her.

"Brother," Farkas said softly. "Maybe we should try to introduce her to things gently. There is no reason to throw her back into the wild, she has not lost herself to the beast."

Vilkas turned to face them, his silver eyes storming. He must not have appreciated Farkas' interruption. Sivanna looked up at the larger man's face, there was no fear. He was only giving advice to his alpha, no threat was intended. _How brave_, Sivanna thought to herself, _to stand up to his pack leader with no fear._

Vilkas seemed to relax,"Fine, _you _will be sure she doesn't maul anyone." He said calmly. "And _you_," he directed those fiery eyes to her,"will have to learn to accept our life. I will allow you to stay with us, in Jorrvaskr. We will see if you can make it as a Companion. Only those with strong hearts are dubbed Companions, so I suggest you toughen up quick, _whelp_."

And with that, he left her and Farkas alone. Sivanna was shocked and confused, what was she supposed to feel? She had thought that being initiated into a pack would be a warm and happy event, but_ this _seemed completely different.

"Don't give him too much thought," Farkas said kindly. "He has trouble opening up. He may seem callous, but he means well. Vilkas wants you to stay, otherwise he wouldn't bring you here."

"Thank you, Farkas. I will try not to maul anyone, I don't want to get you in trouble." she said quietly. She was glad he was with her, he and his brother seemed to be completely different.

Laughter boomed from him,"Oh do not worry for me. I can handle you just fine." he said confidently. He clasped his giant hand onto her shoulder to reassure her, and they continued walking. _Let us hope we will not have to find out_, she thought as she passed a blacksmith's shop. The acrid smell of burning metal stung her nose, and she sneezed.

"How can anyone _stand_ that smell?", she asked Farkas as she covered her nose with her sleeve.

He looked thoughtful for a moment, "We all got used to it. Most people can't even smell it like _we_ can." He winked at her, and she quickened her pace to rid her nose of that gods awful smell and from the strange situation she was not yet sure how to handle.

They continued walking, the two passed many buildings and a few shopping stalls. After reaching a giant dying tree in the middle of the road, they headed to an extremely large and ornate building. It looked like it had once been a giant ship, that had been flipped upside down to create a shelter. Dragon heads and decorative carvings covered the support beams and the walls looked thick and sturdy. The sight of it made Sivanna feel small, the way you might feel standing in front of a mountain.

Farkas sighed appreciatively, and opened the doors to the building. "This," he gestured with his hand; sweeping across the great hall, "is Jorrvaskr. Home of the mighty Companions."

Sivanna looked around the room, there were tables everywhere and a very large fire pit in the middle of the room. Everyon inside was in the middle of a feast! She spotted Vilkas talking with a red headed woman with blue war paint slashed across her face in three long strokes. Heads turned when she followed Farkas over to her alpha and the strange woman. She could recognize the scent of a werewolf, it was one she had smelled before she had met the twins. This woman with her fierce war paint, was also a wolf.

Her wolf was becoming excited and she smiled at the woman. The woman turned to her, looked her over and said, "I've heard you may be stronger than you look, perhaps we can hunt together someday.", her voice was confident and strong, everything Sivanna wished she could be.

"I would love to have that honor, I am Sivanna.", she replied formally. This was another member of her pack, Sivanna had to be polite, show that she could cooperate.

"Aela the Huntress.", she replied in a cool tone. "If you wish to hunt with me, your feet need to be quick, and your eyes quicker." It sounded like a warning, a challenge.

"I will keep up.", Sivanna said, defending herself. Her wolf sat proudly in her head, content with what had happened. She knew this Aela was most likely a better hunter, but she was determined to prove herself. If she was to be at the bottom of the pack, she would at least _earn _her place there.

Aela gave a nod of approval and walked away. She sat next to a man with no hair atop his head, only a silver ponytail at the nape of his neck. A large scar marred one side of his face, it passed over his eye, that had turned milky white with blindness. Sivanna sniffed silently, he was a wolf as well.

"That is Skjor, Aela's mate.", Vilkas told her. "Now, you must meet the Harbinger."

Once again it was that same demanding tone, no questions were to be asked. Although Sivanna had many, she kept the silence and followed. Farkas stayed behind, sitting next to the man called Skjor. He smiled encouragingly at her as Vilkas started to lead her down a flight of stairs. Sivanna panicked, she was alone with the alpha, cold and calculative Vilkas. She was afraid he was going to sneak her out a back door and banish her from the city, but instead he opened a door at the bottom of the stairs and led her down a large hall. At the end of the hallway, a man sat at a small table with a piece of bread in his hand, he was wearing the same set of armor as the twins. For the first time since she had arrived, Sivanna remembered that she was wearing only Vilkas' tunic.

"And who is your friend, Vilkas?", he said, watching her wearily as she blushed.

"A new member of the pack, Master.", Vilkas replied. It was strange, but his voice sounded different when he spoke to this man. In the little time she had known him, she had him figured as devoid of emotion. Yet there was love and respect in his voice now, as he addressed the older man.

"I am no ones _master_, Vilkas. I am only Harbinger.", he chided softly.

"Forgive me, Kodlak.", Vilkas said sincerely.

The Harbinger waved the apology away with his hand and a smile playing on his lips. He turned to her, Kodlak had long silver hair pulled back by two braids. A swirl of red face paint covered nearly his whole right cheek. His silver eyes were old, and wise, and his skin showed scars of the many battles he had been in. He must have been in his fifties at least.

"What is your name, lass?", he inquired curiously.

"Sivanna of Dawnstar.", she said, trying to look as though she were a mighty warrior.

"What brings you to the Companions?", he asked.

"I...well to be honest, I have been wandering the wilds of Skyrim afraid to get close to others, lest they learn what I am." she paused, wondering if she should continue. Kodlak only blinked at her, so she went on. "I had never met another...like myself, until tonight. I was hoping that maybe I could stay and see what it's like to be part of a family."

Sivanna froze, was that true? It was, she was so lonely. She had never the chance to voice her feelings with anyone. She had no one to say these things to anyway. Kodlak turned to Vilkas, who stared back blankly. They seemed to be having a conversation, without speaking, a million words were being said.

Sivanna felt so confused and then the Harbinger turned to her and sighed, "I knew someday, you'd find us."

******Thank you KrystylSky for reviewing! It lets me know that I'm doing something right! :D **


	6. Meet Your Maker

******Holy crap I didn't expect this many views! O_o It's awesome! Thanks so much for taking time out of your day to read my story, it warms my heart**

**Meet Your Maker**

"Wait, _what_?", Sivanna asked incredulously. Her eyes darted from one man to the other.

"Did they ever find the wolf that bit you?", Kodlak asked calmy.

"Well no...but what does that have to do with..." Kodlak looked down, avoiding her eyes. He looked shamed, like he'd been caught doing something very _very _bad.

"You're not...it wasn't you, was it?", she was watching Kodlak, her words no more than a whisper.

"You must understand, I hadn't yet learned control. It was my first moon and I had gone far into the woods so that I couldn't hurt anyone...but I still found you."

Sivanna was shocked, it wasn't the Harbinger speaking, it was _Vilkas!_ Her head whipped around to stare at him. _This_ was the man who had turned her into a beast?_ This_ was the man who had caused her lover to die? Anger started to boil in her stomach, her fists clenched at her sides. He was looking right into her eyes, he looked guilty, but not sorry.

"_Do you have any idea what you caused?"_, she hissed. "I killed my own _lover!_"

Vilkas just looked at her, his face unchanged. "Did your teeth close around his throat?"

"How _dare_ you! I...well...actually no. I bit him, but I convinced my beast to stop.", she said, feeling numb.

"Then what happened?", Kodlak asked softly.

"Guards.", she whispered, staring intensly at her toes. She wouldn't cry, not in front of them at least.

"I am sorry for what happened to you.", Kodlak looked stricken with grief.

"But you can't continue to live in your past.", Vilkas said.

Sivanna looked at Vilkas, the man of her nightmares, and asked, "Are you even going to apologise?"

"Do you like being the wolf?", he asked. She thought about it, then nodded. "Then you're welcome."

Rage flared from her in waves, how could he _be_ so insensitive? She had lost _everything_ because of him. And yet...she had lost nothing because of him. Sivanna had been abandoned at a very young age, and slept in the stables with the farm animals. There had been many times when a cow or horse would step on her arms and legs in the cramped stalls, but where else could she go? Honorhall? The orphanage with a witch for an owner? No. She would rather stay in the cold snow for the rest of her life than go to that place for one night. And that is exactly what she had done, until she had met her lover.

He had given her a place to stay, and had taken care of her when she had nothing to repay him with. He was the only person to ever show her kindness, regardless of her situation. Eventually they fell in love, the worst mistake of his life. Now here she stood, with the man that had caused her to change, and inadvertently her lover's death. Vilkas didn't even seem to care, the only person to ever love her was dead and Vilkas cared not.

"Now lass, what Vilkas is trying to say is that he's sorry for the pain he caused you.", Kodlak said, trying to ease the tension that suddenly seemed palpable.

"What I'm _saying, _is that whatever happened in your past doesn't matter anymore. You're here now, and you have a responsibility as a pack member. You need to prove to me that you can be relied on to do what it takes for our family.", Vilkas said.

Sivanna stared at him. "I understand," she responded, "but there is one thing I'd like to know."

Vilkas raised an eyebrow questioningly. "What is it?"

"Why didn't you come after me, let me know what was going to happen? Tell me that I'd live... but that I could never be close to others again?", her voice trembled and her eyes felt hot.

"I did.", he replied,"I couldn't find you."

"But...couldn't you remember my scent? Or what I looked like?"

"It was my first shift, I blacked out. When I woke up I didn't remember what I'd done, but when I arrived in the nearest town I heard of a beast attacking a young girl. I knew that I must have been that beast, but when I went searching for you I had no description of the girl that I had bitten. Everything I had heard was vague, all I knew was that the girl was an orphaned Nord. After some time, I gave up.", he sighed.

Sivanna thoughtfor a moment about when she had been attacked. Sivanna had been staying in Ivarstead, Vilkas had been searching in the wrong town. She had known that her attacker was no normal beast, so she had fled. Sivanna and her lover had run back to Dawnstar. Then she had her first shift, and she was forced to run again.

"I see.", suddenly she felt tired. "Can you show me where I am to sleep?"

Her head was spining, and she wanted nothing more than to fall into a bed and sleep. Too much had happened today, she was more than ready for it to be over. The Harbinger said goodnight and things would be better morn. Sivcanna watched as he went up the hallway she and VIlkas had come through and left them alone.

For a while they both stood there, neither of them speaking. Sivanna's eyes were focused on the rug beneath her feet. After a few moments had passed, Vilkas cleared his throat.

"I'll show you to your bed.", he said in his thickly accented voice.

Without looking to see if she would follow, he started back up the hallway. Suddenly, a man stumbled through the doorway from the great hall. Sivanna could smell the mead on him, he was thoroughly pickled.

"Heeeeey, Vilkasss.", he slurred while trying not to spill his mug.

"Where've you been, old friend?", the man leaned a little too close to Vilkas' face.

Vilkas pushed him off, gently. "Torvar, you've had a bit too much to drink again."

"Nah." he said and turned his face to SIvanna. The man had blonde hair and a long blonde beard. He was probably her height, but with him wobbling like a fresh calf in his drunken stupor, it was hard to tell.

"Oh!", Torvar giggled. "You've found a new lady, eh?"

He gestured to the shirt Sivanna was wearing. _As if the night couldn't get any worse_, she thought. Sivanna wished she could hide until the night was over, or at least until she wasn't wearing Vilkas' tunic.

"Torvar go to bed." Vilkas said, he was clearly annoyed.

"Ladies man!", Torvar sang to him, he winked at Sivanna and stumbled back through the door to the great hall.

She looked at Vilkas, he seemed flustered. "What's the matter?", she asked.

"He's going tell everyone that we're bedding each other.", he replied calmly.

"Ugh.", Sivanna sighed as she dragged a palm over her face.

"That's all you have to say?", he seemed shocked. It was the first emotion she had seen on his face rather than anger.

"What would you have me say? People spread whispers like fires spread in dry grass, I learned that a long time ago."

"Do you care not, or does the thought temp you so?"

"What? I said no such thing, I do not wish to be in your bed!", she was mortified.

"That's not entirely true," he grinned, "You would have opened yourself to me like in the woods, I could smell your desire pouring from you."

Sivanna's fist hit him square in the jaw. Although he was indeed her alpha, she couldn't quell her anger. Sivanna felt no regret, and yet she knew there would be trouble in the morning.

"Something the matter?"

Sivanna turned, Farkas stood in the doorway. She sighed,"I need a place to rest."

He lifted his large arm and pointed to the door on her right, "Just pick a bed and fall in it."

Without giving Vilkas another glance, she opened the door and lay down in the first bed she saw. _Tomorrow is going to be a long day,_ she told the wolf as she drifted off into sleep.


	7. On Whiterun

******Just want to say thank you to everyone reading and following my story. :) It's a total boost to the self esteem when someone enjoys your work, so thank you everyone! You are all amazing!**

**On Whiterun**

Sivanna woke to the sound of snoring. Her eyes opened quickly, someone was lying on the floor beside her bed. It was Torvar, the man from last night. She glanced around the room, there had been many beds he could have picked. _Guess he couldn't make it, _she giggled to herself.

As she sat up, she tried to figure a way to apologise to Vilkas. No doubt he was livid from what had happened last night. Feeling her fist hit him had felt good, but it had been wrong. She sighed, that would _not_ make a pleasant conversation. None the less, it had to be done if she wanted to stay in the pack.

Aela appeared in the open door. "You're awake, I'm sure you'll want a change of clothes.", she said giving Vilkas' tunic a look. "Here, the straps are adjustable, I'm certain it will suit you."

She tossed Sivanna some leather armor. It was fresh from the blacksmith from the smell. Light and flexible, made for a hunter rather than a warrior. Sivanna was pleased, she knew nothing of using weapons anyway. If she had ever been in danger, her beast would get them to safety. Now it seemed, she would have to change her ways.

"Thank you, Aela.", Sivanna said.

"When you are fully dressed, you are to meet Farkas in the training grounds. Now then, you mustn't tell anyone what you are or what _we_ are, some people cannot handle the beauty of the wolf."

"No one?"

"If you do not smell the beast in them, then they need not know of the beast in us." Aela replied.

"I understand." Sivanna knew that even if a wolf _had_ control, people would fear them. There was no need to cause a panic in the town.

"So," Aela said, "The large bruise Vilkas' face, was that your doing?" Her expression was unreadable.

Sivanna looked at the ground, "I...got a little carried away."

"Can't say I blame you, your first moon must have been rough, no wolf should have to spend it alone."

_He must not have told anyone what had happened, I suppose I wouldn't have either if I had been him. _Sivanna held back a laugh, she must have been mad to think she could fit into this life. Sivanna had never properly learned how to behave around others, they would surely disband her from the pack .

"Am I to leave then?"

"Leave? No, you got what was owed to you. Our alpha wouldn't banish you for reminding him of his mistake against a fellow pack member.", Aela told her.

_He had made more than one mistake, _she thought. Sivanna was still irritated, of course she thought him appealing, but it had been the full moon! All things were more...intense, during a full moon. Vilkas' of _all_ the wolves should have known that. _Maybe that's why he acted as he did? Because the moon was affecting him?_

"Does Vilkas...see many women?"

Aela cocked her head, "Interested are you?"

"No! No, I only...this man on the floor thought that we...", Sivanna felt cornered as she searched for words.

"Because you are wearing Vilkas' tunic? I see, well he has had his share of wenches leaving his room in the early mornings. No need to worry about Torvar here either, he's a good man...he just "celebrates" a little too often."

Aela lightly kicked Torvar's side, he grumbled and lifted his face. Torvar's eyes were bloodshot enough she thought he must have missed his mouth and poured the mead into them, he looked awful. Sivanna was sure he wouldn't rememberher, much less what had transpired in the night. Torvar looked at her with a lost expression on his face, _he most certainly does not remember._

"Have we met? I do not remember you. If you have introduced yourself to me before I'm sorry, I forgot.", He mumbled as he pushed himself off the ground.

"No, I don't believe we have. I'm Sivanna of Dawnstar.", she was so relieved that he couldn't remember last night, it would have...complicated things.

"Torvar.", he stated.

"Kodlak wishes to speak with you Torvar, off you go.", Aela told him.

He stumbled through the door, and Aela followed. She gave Sivanna one last nod before disapearing through into the hallway. She felt giddy, _my training starts today! _Was this really happening? Sivanna had a place to stay, and people to spend her time with. People who knew her secret, and accepted her.

Sivanna dressed quickly and started up the hallway to the stairs. _I wonder what I'll learn today,_ she pondered,_ will I be learning how to use a sword?_ Sivanna wasn't sure she could be a very good warrior, but she would try none the less. If her life was going to change, she would embrace it!

When she arrived in the great hall, she realized that Aela had forgotten to tell her where the training grounds were. She spotted an old woman sweeping near one of the many doors, perhaps she would know? Sivanna headed towards the older woman, she was wearing a yellow dress and a bonnet. _A handmaiden_, Sivanna realized,_ she must know!_

"Excuse me," she started.

"Don't bother yourself with me, you wish to speak with one of the Companions I'm sure.", she said with a smile.

"Actually, I'm looking for the traing grounds, can you help me?", Sivanna asked.

"Oh I've been serving the Companions as long as I can remember, I know every hall and all its secrets. The training grounds are just through that door."

"Thank you." Sivanna said politely, and headed throught the door.

The sun almost blinded her, it was so bright out. Sivanna squinted as she walked out into the morning light. Sivanna stepped on to a porch with two long tables covered in food and drink. Farkas was straight ahead, in what seemed to be a lookout, from it you could see the vast plains where she had been initiated into the pack. Farkas was leaning against the stone wall, watching her.

"Hello.", Sivanna greeted him as she walked to his lookout.

"I was afraid I'd need to wake you myself.", Farkas chuckled

Sivanna smiled, he was easy to be around. The large companion was light hearted and kind, she had never met anyone like him. "Just enjoying the bed, it's been years since I've had the chance.", she said.

"I see, well are you ready?", he said with a smirk.

"Of course."

He cocked his head at her, "You have no way of knowing what I have in mind, how can you be sure you're ready?"

"Each day that I wake, I am prepared ready whatever may come next, that is how I learned to survive.", she told him.

"Oh...I see, then lets make haste. Today you will be learning about Whiterun."

**Ok so it's a pretty boring chapter, I know. But it would seem too long if I kept going. I'm going to upload the next chapter as soon as I can so don't worry. And I'll try to keep things as exciting as possible, I don't want you getting bored! lol**


	8. Cold Hard Truth

******I hope you are enjoying the story, if I have left out any important details or you have any suggestions let me know :)**  
**Like one of my favorite authors on this site says "reviews=love"**

**Cold Hard Truth**

"This is the Wind district, all the houses, The Bannered Mare, Gildergreen, and Jorrvaskr itself are within its bounds.", Farkas said proudly.

"I'm lucky to have such a fine escort," Sivanna teased.

"Your life may depend on what you learn today. It would be best for you to know about the town in which you abide.", his voice was light, but his words were serious.

"Of course.", she said. Sivanna cared not about the districts, she knew where her bed was and that was all she needed. Sivanna wanted battle lessons and hunting trips! She was ready for adventure!

Farkas pointed to a very large building atop two flights of stairs. "That, is Dragonsreach. The Jarl's castle. It's in The Cloud District."

Sivanna was more interested in the shouting priest who stood before the statue of Talos. He was screaming his preachings to anyone that walked by. His voice was hoarse, but he showed no signs of stopping. There was a desperation in his face, yet not many even acknowledged him seemed so desperate. "What's wrong with that man?"

"That is, Heimskr. He's a priest of Talos, see the way he watches everyone? He's waiting for the Imperials to trry and arrest him for violating the law. Heimskr is against the banning of the worship of Talos, so he chooses to ignore the new law." Farkas said.

"And yet, no one is listening to him.", Sivanna said, it was a sad sight.

"Heimskr is doing what he thinks is right, best not to worry about him much.", Farkas said as he lead her away.

SIvanna followed him down some stairs to the marketplace. The difference between day and night in the city was astonishing. At night the city was empty, yet now so many people roamed the streets that the were crowding each other. Or so it seemed to Sivanna, there were only less than twenty in reality. Sivanna didn't enjoy being this close to people, it made her nervous.

"This is The Plains District, or just the marketplace.", he leaned down toward her and whispered,"Are you feeling ill? You look as pale as a spectre."

"There are so many...", she whispered nervously.

Farkas straightened up,"Alright, back to Jorrvaskr. You know the way?" he raised a large eyebrow at her and she nodded. "Then lead the way."

After they had returned to the great hall, breakfast was being served. Tilma, the handmaiden Sivanna had met earlier, was a wonderful cook. It had been some time since Sivanna had eaten boiled cream treats and scrambled eggs. It was nice to know she would be able to eat when she felt the hunger. Sivanna and Farkas had just cleaned off their plates when Vilkas opened one of the many doors and walked into the great hall. He was walked to where she and Farkas were sitting, Sivanna could smell perfume on him. _Vilkas must have enjoyed himself. _She thought,_ he couldn't the handle rejection._

"You, follow me.", Vilkas commanded.

He lead her outside to the training grounds and walked to the lookout to peer over the vast plains of Skyrim. The silence was building uncomfortable, it made Sivanna want to squirm, yet instead she walked to the lookout and leaned her elbows against the rock wall.

"I'm sorry.", she said. She didn't need to see him to know that his head had whipped to look at her. His stare was burning a hole in her face.

"Sorry?", he asked, he seemed confused.

Sivanna turned her head to him and nodded, "For hiting you."

Vilkas looked puzzled, _has he forgotten? _Sivanna thought to herself irritatedly.

"You are a strange one.", he said still staring at her.

Now Sivanna was confused, "Why am I strange?"

"I was not expect you to say that. This conversation was going to be a lot different." His accent made the words seem so...unusual, not bad, just different.

"Would you rather I had not?"

"You didn't have to, only apologize if you've done something wrong."

Sivanna looked at the bruise on his jaw, it was swollen and purple. _I didn't hit him _that_ hard...did I?_

"So I can hit you?"

"No, I only deserved the hit last night. Now leave it alone, it's not what I brought you out here for."

She waited, and as the tension grew she listened to the sounds of the city. She could hear Eorlund working the Skyforge above them, Farkas had introduced her to the blacksmith that morning. Eorlund had shown her how he made the armor and weapons for the Companions, his work was not an easy task. Sivanna could also hear Heimskr screaming his preachings as people bartered their goods in the marketplace. A werewolf's hearing was an amazing thing.

"Why do you think I brought you here?", Vilkas asked her. Sivanna startled, she had forgotten he was there. She pondered his question for a moment,_ why _would_ he bring me here? Perhaps he is trying to make amends?_

"I'm not sure.", she said truthfully.

He stared at her, it was as if he didn't know what he was doing. This was very odd.

"I brought you here because my life needs to change, I need to change.", Vilkas said.

"Change? I'm not understanding."

"I've let old man Kodlak down, so I've got to correct that. I'm starting with you, my first mistake."

Sivanna flinched, it was as though he had struck her. "Mistake?", her voice was steady, but only just.

"Yes, I need to fix you before I can see to myself."

"Fix me?", she said angrily,"I don't need _fixed!_ Especially not by you!"

Sivanna turned on her heel and started back towards the great hall. Vilkas grabbed her arm, "Wait," he said, "that's not what I meant."

She glared at him,"Perhaps _should _change, then maybe you would be able to help others rather than attack them!"

His eyes darkened, _uh oh_, she thought. "I saved your life!" he yelled at her.

"You would be dead if it weren't for me!"

"What are you talking about?" SIvanna's beast stirred, roused by the rage Vilkas had awakened.

"Do you really believe that the man you were with accepted you? That he actually loved you?", Vilkas spat.

"That is none of your concern!", SIvanna growled.

"He was using you!"

"NO! He _loved_ me! He's the only one to ever love me in my entire life! And it's _your _fault he's dead!"

"Oh he is among the living." Vilkas laughed "Just waiting for the chance to take you back."

"_What!_", Sivanna exclaimed. _He's alive? That can't be...I must have infected him!_

"Don't worrry your pretty little head, you couldn't kill him. It's surprising that you failed smell it on him, he was a wolf _long_ before he met you." Vilkas growled.

"Liar!" _Vilkas had to be lying, her lover died that night! Surely he was dead! _

"No words have ever been more true.", he said as he tried to quell his beast.

She turned away from him, and found that he still had a hold of her arm.

"Let go.", she warned.

"Don't you wonder how I knew that you were the girl I turned so long ago?" his voice was getting softer, Sivanna felt fear start to creep up her spine.

"No."

"Farkas and I found an assasin in the woods before you howled. The assasin had a note on his person, it said he was to capture a werewolf named Sivanna." He paused, "Do you know who signed the letter?"

"No..." Sivanna didn't want to know.

"Arnbjorn of The Dark Brotherhood. "

Sivanna's legs buckled, Vilkas' hold on her arm was the only thing keeping her from hitting the hard ground. The world was spinning, and her vision went blurry. _That can't be right!_ She thought desperately, _Arnbjorn isn't in The Dark Brotherhood!_

"Forgive me, I shouldn't have told you like this. But Arnbjorn was trying to initiate you into his evil cult.", his words were thick with his accent, as though there was a lump in his throat. He sat her down on the ground, squated in front of her, and feelt her forehead with the back of his hand.

"If what you say is true...then he still loves me. Why would he lie?", her words were no more than a whisper.

"Because," Vilkas sighed, "He has a wife, and she would kill you as soon as she saw you."

******What did you think of that one, huh? Did you like it? :D**


	9. Caught In The Middle

**Caught In The Middle**

_A wife?_ Sivanna thought, _he never mentioned a wife._ Looking back, he hadn't really said anything about himself...he only ever talked about Sivanna. Why couldn't she see? He _was_ using her, from the very beginning. Arnbjorn had never cared for her, his words...lies, every single one, a lie.

"I'm so foolish," she whispered, "I should have known that no one would ever care for a worthless girl like me...I've learned my lesson."

Sivanna kept her eyes fixed on the ground. A stone caught her eye, it didn't fit with the others. One side jutted above the rest, standing tall enough to trip someone._ It could be a danger to anyone walking by...it doesn't belong with the others._ A tear slid silently down her cheek and fell on the jutting stone.

She heard Vilkas sigh under his breath. Sivanna looked up to his face, he was shaking his head. "You tell me that you saved my life... how is leaving me alone with a killer was such a gallant guesture?"

Vilkas scowled at her, "I kept him from biting you. Albeit it wasn't on purpose, it is better that you went on your own. The things he would have done to you...I'm thankful that you got away."

"And what would he have done to me?", Sivanna's beast was restless, with her hurt flowing through, it wouldn't be long before she shifted.

"Arnbjorn would have used his knowledge of our kind against you. He would have used his lies and forced you to follow him and his orders." The anger had left Vilkas, but Sivanna couldn't calm herself...

"Like you? As soon as you _saw_ me you _knew_ you were going to make me a part of your pack!" she spat, "What if _ you_ are the one who is lying? How would I know that _you're_ not the one trying to control me? _Why did you bring me here?"_

"Easy now," Vilkas tried. Sivanna was panting, her shoulders heaving with the effort. The beast wanted out, now.

"Easy? I've been on the run for _ten years!_ Ever since _you_ bit me! I was _twelve!_ I've had no bed since then! I've had no fresh cooked meal! I've had no one to talk to other than the beast inside me! If Arnbjorn had turned me, I wouldn't be alone!", Sivanna felt fire spreading through her body, her skin was burning.

"I knew not what was happening! I had never even heard of a _werewolf_! You chewed me up and spit me back out into the world with nothing! I had _nothing _left..."

"I searched for you, but where was I to start? You haven't make it easy for me either!" Vilkas said through clenched jaws.

"I bet it was _killing _you to think that the girl you attacked was out there alone." she yelled sarcastically.

"How would you know? You know nothing about me!" Vilkas yelled.

"Exactly! I _don't_ know anything about you, only that when I needed you most, you _weren't_ there!" The wolf was pushing its way through her. Sivanna's ears were starting to point, and as she looked into Vilkas' eyes they turned from silver to a deep amber.

"_Enough!"_

Sivanna and Vilkas both turned their heads to the sound. Farkas was standing on the porch, his fists closed tight. He was angry, and he was glaring at Vilkas. Sivanna turned back to look at her alpha, and almost hit her head on his jaw. Sometime in the chaos, they had both stood up braced for a fight. Her teeth had sharpened, making her mouth hang open awkwardly. Vilkas' hand was mid reach for the colllar on her armor, his fingers almost completely changed into claws.

"I take it you told _her_, brother.", Farkas said as he came toward them. His movements were stiff, _he must be very angry..._Sivanna thought. She stepped away from Vilkas, just before Farkas shoved him against the stone wall. Vilkas' mouth made a small "o" of surprise, Farkas must not stand up to his alpha often...

"What were you thinking?", he asked Vilkas in a low growl. "Didn't we agree that you needed to break things to her _gently? _And after all this time, you didn't find it in your heart to tell me? Your only brother?"

Farkas' head turned to look at Sivanna, he still had a firm hold on Vilkas' shoulders. "Did he hurt you?", his eyes flashed amber, so fast she thought she had imagined it. _Why would he care? What does he want from me? No friendship comes without a price..._

"No, he didn't touch me." Farkas eyes moved to her arm, the one Vilkas had grabbed. A purple bruise was forming there. She hadn't noticed it before.

He whipped his head back to his alpha and growled, low, not a sound that should come from a human throat. Vilkas pulled his lips back in a snarl, eyes locked on Farkas' face. Part of Sivanna wanted to stand and watch, but she knew she could not...they were brothers. She couldn't let them be torn apart.

"Stop.", Sivanna said.

Nothing happened, they were still growling at each other and Sivanna could see the first signs of the change on Farkas.

"_Stop!"_ she yelled. They looked at her, as if they had forgotten she were there. "I'm leaving."

Farkas dropped Vilkas, who made a satisfying thud on the hard ground. They were looking at her with desperate faces. "You can't leave!" Vilkas said.

"We want to help you." Farkas said gently.

"I've had enough help." Sivanna said.

"Please, don't go. I'm sorry, this was wrong. _I_ was wrong." Vilkas pleaded.

"Sivanna, not all people act like Vilkas. Some of us are _nice_." Farkas looked pointedly at Vilkas as he said it.

"This is more than I can handle. I thought that coming here would change things for me...but I never thought it would be like this.", she said. Sivanna was so tired of running, but what else could she do?

"Just give it a week? Please, Sivanna. I enjoy being around you, you're honest and easy to be around."

Sivanna half smiled, but she stopped herself. "Farkas, you have been very kind. But if I've learned anything, I've learned that people use that against me. You _seem_ kind, but what do you really want from me? I can't believe that you want me to stay here just for my company...not after today."

Farkas' jaw dropped. "See!" Vilkas said to him. "She's hopeless!"

"That's _your _fault!" Farkas growled.

They were back where they had started. _What should I do now?_ she asked the wolf. It sat in her head, and whinned. A picture flashed, two wolves fighting and another came to stop the fight. It was a power struggle, and the third wolf would ease the pressure to keep things from getting serious _No, you mean to tell me that I have to stop them from fighting? That's my place in the pack?_ The wolf said nothing. _Fine._

"Alright!" The brothers looked back to her, "I'll stay for a while, but only because I miss having fresh food and a warm place to sleep. First fight I see, I leave."

**Sorry this one took a while, there's been a lot going on. A friend died in a car crash and things went a little...well not so good. But writing helps. And knowing that there are people like you out there that enjoy reading my story makes the passing easier for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart**


	10. Find Out Who Your Friends Are

**Find Out Who Your Friends Are**

Sivanna fell on her bed sighing tiredly. _Can this really be happening?_She had left Farkas and Vilkas outside, both of them wore dumbstruck expressions on their faces. She wasn't sure what to do now, but she did need some time to herself. So much had happened already, it was all she could take.

Just then she heard a knock, "Sivanna?" Aela peeked her head through the doorway.

"Yes?", Sivanna said through her pillow.

"Is everything alright? I heard a lot of shouting out there..." Aela sounded concerned.

Sivanna lifted her head, "No one got hurt," Sivanna thought for a moment,"I have a bruise but that's all." The last thing she needed was a repeat of Farkas' reaction.

"I see, and where have the twins gone?"

Sivanna cocked her head, "They left?"

"It would seem so." Aela said.

"I'm afraid I do not know, but I wish to...take a nap for a while. If I may?"

Aela nodded and left, _off to find the brothers, _she thought_._ Sivanna lifted herself from the comfort of her bed and blew out all the candles. Darkness swallowed the room as Sivanna began to undress. She wanted to feel the fur on her skin, it always comforted her. As if she were cuddling with a live animal, a beast who cared for her. Pieces of armor fell to the floor, making clinking noises as the clasps hit the ground. It was nice to be in her own skin, although she had always complained about not having clothes...she was very used to being nude.

Sivanna pulled back the furs and crawled under their warmth, curling herself into a ball. She stared at the wall in front of her._ Could my love really have lied to me?_ She wondered. The Dark Brotherhood was a group of assassins who worshiped the god of death and pain..._Could Arnbjorn really be with them? Yes. Yes he could and I was a fool for believing him._ Pulling the blankets closer, she of when she had met him. He had seemed so kind...

Sivanna had been begging on the streets of Dawnstar, starving and half frozen from the snow.

"_P-Please" her teeth chattered hard as she pleaded with a guard, "I only n-n-need a small bite to eat-t. Or m-maybe a s-small b-bit of fur to keep me w-warm." She was young then, eleven years old and very alone. Her face was dirty and the rags she was wearing offered no protection from the cold._

"_Get outta here ya little urchin! I don't even have enough fur for m'self, I don't need you takin' what little I have!", he yelled as he shoved her away roughly._

_Sivanna walked away, knowing there would be no help for her. She came to a mine on the far side of town, and huddled next to its smelter. If she got too close, the metal oven would burn her. Multiple scars adorned her hands and feet from trying to warm herself by it. Sivanna had tried to enter the mine, thinking the cave would be a good shelter from the sleet and snow...but workers had kicked her out._

"_What is a young girl like you doing out in the cold?"_

_Sivanna lifted her face to see a young man standing above her. His hair was pure white, a shaggy mess that fell just past his ears. Brown eyes stared at her kindly. His body was muscular and strong. _Protection,_ she thought. Sivanna was sure he was speaking to someone else, she looked behind her but saw no one._

"_Are you well?" he asked, "Where are your mother and father?"_

"_I d-d-don't have any." she said softly._

_The man squatted down so he could see her face, "Would you like some venison stew? And maybe a better dress?" He gestured to tattered and ripped cloth she wore._

_Sivanna's heart dropped, "S-s-sir, I don't have any g-g-gold to pay you with...not even a s-s-septim."_

"_I asking for no gold." he said with a wink._

"_B-b-but you're a s-stranger, what if you throw me in a p-p-pot?" she asked_

"_Hm," he squeezed her arm softly "Not enough meat on your bones to make anything worth eating." He smiled._

_Sivanna giggled. "My name is Sivanna."_

"_Pleased to meet you, Sivanna. My name is Arnbjorn."_

He was always so kind back then, how could he be with the Dark Brotherhood? Tears started to slide their way across the bridge of her nose and onto her pillow. _How am I to live, if I cannot trust anyone?_ A deep sadness grew in her chest, heart was aching and her body was going numb. Everything she had ever known, or thought she had known, had been a lie. Lies from the one person she thought she could trust.

"I loved him" she cried silently, "Why would he do this to me?"

Just then she heard the door open, "Aw shiiit! Someone blew all my candles out!" Sivanna recognized Torvar's voice.

"I got it." _Ria_, Sivanna thought. She had met Ria this morning with Farkas. Ria was a nice girl, but then again, Arnbjorn had been nice too.

The two walked in, Ria was holding a torch and Torvar was holding a large sack.

"All this new armor will be very useful! Watch out women of Skyrim, here comes Torvar the Lady Killer!"

"Oh sure!" Ria laughed "More like Torvar the Buzz Killer!"

"Oi," he said, "That's not funny."

_Great,_ Sivanna thought, _how do I get out of here? All my clothes are on the ground! _She was going to just hide there until they left, but it seemed there would be no peace for her today.

"Have either of you seen Sivanna?" Farkas' rugged voice reached her ears.

"No.", they both said. Yet of course, his werewolf nose sniffed her out.

"There you are," he looked down and saw her armor on the ground, "Oh. Um, I thought you might need some privacy." He said awkwardly.

Sivanna turned her face to him, "Then why are you here?"

"You won't be left alone in here.", and with that he scooped her up, fur and all and walked through the door.

"What are you _doing?_" she squeaked.

"Taking you to where you can be alone." he answered.

Farkas walked down the hallway, and opened one of the many doors. It led to a smaller hallway with a door on either side. Farkas pushed through the one on the right, it was a bedroom. Only one beds was in it, she could smell Farkas' and Vilkas' scents.

"Is this your room?", she asked.

"Yes."

"Then what are you thinking? I want to be alone, not in bed with you!"

"I know, no one will bother you in here." he said, as if it were normal to carry a naked woman into his room so she could "be alone."

"What about my armor?"

"I'll go get it later, you won't be needing it."

Sivanna snorted, W_ho does he think he is? Waltzing in and scooping me up like that, and taking me to his chambers! The nerve! Doesn't he know what others are going to think? _She stopped that thought, _You didn't mind when Torvar was going to tell everyone you were sleeping with Vilkas..._

"I want to apologize for before. Vilkas and I are not like that. I just...when I saw the tear streaks on your face...I lost it. And then that bruise, I thought he was really trying to hurt you." Farkas set her down on his bed. He sat down on a chair next to her. _So much for being alone._

"Do you really believe that I don't like you?" he looked hurt.

"I-I don't know. I'm not sure what to believe." she said.

Farkas looked away and nodded. "Well for what it's worth, I do like you. You're one of the only people that doesn't make fun of me."

"Make fun of you?"

"Yes, the others say I'm slow because I'd rather let my fists do the talking."

"That doesn't make you slow," Sivanna said, "It just means you need help being around people."

"So do you." he turned to look at her. "You've been crying again, anything I can do?"

Sivanna sighed,"Farkas, it's been a really long day, and it isn't even half over yet."

"I can keep people from bothering you, if you want."

"That would be nice, thank you." Sivanna was so confused, was Farkas trying to use her? How was she to know if someone was lying to her? Farkas left her alone, she heard him pull up a chair and sit in front of the door. _Just like a guard dog,_ _he seems loyal...but can I trust him? Can I trust anyone?_

**Alright, so yeah I changed the way Arnbjorn looks, but only because it is supposed to be ten years in the past. I didn't want him to be some creepy old man hitting on an eleven year old O_o**


	11. Under The Influence

**I know it's been a while, but a lot has happened since last I wrote. I've lost a lot of friends and family in the past few months so I hope you'll forgive my tardy posts. I'll try to be more regular. Thank you for your support**

**reviews=love :)**

**Under The Influence**

"Now hold steady, don't lock your arm! Try to breathe without moving your body...or, you could just hold your breath. Good. Your back must be straight, never look away from the target! Remember, it takes time to get the aiming just so, but do not wait until your arms start to shake...you will most definitely miss." Aela instructed.

Sivanna let her breath out slowly, as her arms started to ache. "May I shoot it yet?", she asked.

"If you believe you are ready." Aela replied.

The arrow ripped from Sivanna's fingers, flying into the target. "I hit it!" She was so pleased, she had managed to hit the target!

"Don't get too excited just yet," Aela warned, "You missed the bulls-eye." She pulled the arrow from the hay target. Sivanna's arrow had landed the third ring in the circle. _I hit it. You drag me out here to "practice" but don't even praise my good work?_ Sivanna thought irritatedly. She had been in Farkas' room the whole night, and he had stayed on guard in front of the door the entire time. _I wonder where Vilkas slept?_

"Archery, is for those with patience. If you wish to learn to use a bow correctly, then you will heed my words. Otherwise I will send you off to Vilkas for training with swords." Aela said.

"No! I mean, no thank you. I'd rather learn to shoot the stem from an apple before I train with two handed weapons." Sivanna told her.

Aela raised her eyebrows, "Oh? Well you have no need to worry, Vilkas isn't here to train you."

"He's not? Where is he?", Sivanna asked before she stop herself.

"Preparing for a hunting trip, and you will be accompanying him."

"_What?_ Why do I have to go? I just shot my first arrow! This is the first time I have ever touched a bow!" Sivanna looked at the weapon in her hand, it was a simple long bow. The wood was fine, carved to perfection. She could see herself fighting as a human rather than a beast for once. Maybe it _was_ possible. It fit snug in her hand, yet she was not yet ready trust her life to an instrument of wood and string.

"You need to be a part of the hunt, feel what it is that you should be doing. You will learn more out there than you will shooting at a bail of hay with me." Aela said.

"But...you will be coming as well, won't you?" Sivanna asked.

"No. I am needed elsewhere."

"_Elsewhere?_ You are to teach me to use a bow! The only _elsewhere_ you should be is here aiding me!", Sivanna quipped worriedly.

Aela stared at her, "Since when does the new blood give orders to Aela The Huntress? You are the lowest ranking member in the pack, if we tell you to do something, you do it. Now, keep practicing until summoned by myself or one of the others."

Aela turned and walked away from Sivanna, leaving her feeling humbled and humiliated. The beast whined softly for comfort and Sivanna turned back to her target. She lifted her bow and drew an arrow, letting her finger lightly rest on the shaft of it as a guide. _Take a deep breath,_ she told herself. All her focus was on her target, the red dot in the middle of the hay. The arrow let loose and flew into the hay with a thunk.

"Not bad", said a voice.

Sivanna whirled, it had been Skjor who had spoken. The man with the silver ponytail and milky eye was watching her, smiling slightly. He made Sivanna nervous, he seemed more beast than man.

"Thank you, sir." She said politely.

Skjor waved a hand, "I'm no sir. Just so, have they got you convinced that you must learn to fight on two legs?"

"What do you mean?" Sivanna asked, confused.

"All of them here will swear to The Eight that you have to learn to use _weapons_ in order to be a warrior." He said, clearly irritated.

She cocked her head, "You mean, you don't know how to use a sword or bow?"

Skjor scoffed, "Of course I do, girl, I just don't need 'em. Aela says it'll get me killed someday, but that's more a reason to keep as I am. A man's got to prove his woman wrong, no honor in being weak willed."

The beast didn't like him, she gave Sivanna a chill in her spine. "I think it might be good to learn to use a bow so I can hunt and bring food back here to Jorrvaskr that isn't full of holes from my fangs. I'd like to be able to repay you all for your kindness, and maybe give some of my kills to the less fortunate." She remembered very well what it was like to be hungry, and she didn't want others to face it's terror.

Skjor turned his head so his eye might better see her, "Naive aren't you, those _less fortunate_ need to take care of themselves. Won't rise far in the pack with that kind a thinkin. It's a beast's world, and only the strongest beasts survive, that's the way it's been and the way it'll be."

She didn't know what to say, so she turned back to her target and resumed her practice. All the while conscious of Skjor's uncomfortable stares. Sivanna had used all her arrows by the time he had left, and her arms and back ached with the effort she had put into her work. She seated herself on the ground, exhausted.

The sun had gone below the walls of the city and the air was starting to pick up a chill._ It's nice to know where we'll be bedding next, isn't it? _Sivanna asked her beast. The wolf gave no response, only silence filled her head. She sighed, laying down and closing her eyes. She thought of the hunting trip she was to take with Vilkas. _It is going to be a disaster,_ she thought irritatedly. Vilkas clashed with her every time he saw her. Even so, she wasn't sure what to make of him. He seemed earnest enough about helping her, but what did he want to fix? Did he want to unmake her? Did he want to teach her how to survive and be around others without worry? Sivanna did not know.

Just then she heard a door burst open feet dragging themselves out onto the the porch. Sivanna sat up and turned to see Vilkas staggering between the tables toward her. She could smell the mead on him, it was strong. His face was slightly red as he nearly fell down beside her.

"I never meant for things to be this way.", he told her, looking out at the stars that were appearing in the sky. "I always thought I'd find you and save you from yourself, and you would think me a hero."

Vilkas looked at her then, eyes storming. _He's sad!_ She realized with shock. _I should probably say something to him..._"Most times things don't turn out they way we think they ought to.", Sivanna said, patting his shoulder awkwardly.

His gaze turned to her hand upon his shoulder, and he grabbed it. His speed was impressive for his drunken state. "I thought you would fall in love with me and we would live they way they do in the old stories." he scoffed, "How could I ever think a girl might fall for me, what with the way I am?"

Sivanna was confused, she knew he wasn't quite himself...but could that all be true? He pulled her hand to the ground. Vilkas held it with a firm grip, and yet he seemed to be taking care with her, as if she might break. She was starting to feel uncomfortably aware of how close he was, their sides almost touching. There had to be something she could do to make this less...strange.

"I'm sure there's been many a girl that's loved you Vilkas, you are...handsome." She cringed at her own words, _handsome? _Even if he was too drunk to remember what she had said, that was not the right thing to say.

"Handsome?" He lifted his head, "Handsome doesn't make for love, it makes for a good bedding." Sivanna blushed. "Even so, thank you for that, Sivanna."

That was the first time he had ever called her name, and though he _was_ handsome and she enjoyed hearing his voice, she knew he was right. Love was not something a look alone could make. "Then you will have to try to be a man that a woman would want to keep.", Sivanna told him.

"Are you asking me to try?", he cocked his head at her.

"Is love what you're looking for?", she asked him.

He thought about it, "I'm not sure anymore."

"Then yes," Sivanna nodded, "You should try."

Vilkas lifted her hand to his face and inhaled her scent, it was an odd thing to witness. His eyes were closed as he pressed the palm of her hand to his face. She could feel stubble there on his cheek, strong, wiry, and yet soft. This whole situation was getting too heavy for her.

"Would you hold me for a night, Sivanna?" he rumbled softly, his accent thick with emotion.

"Hold you? Vilkas...you've had much to drink and you aren't thinking as yourself." she said as she began to panic.

"Then will you hold me now? We don't have to bed each other. I only want you to know what it's like to have someone's arms around you, and not need to worry for once."

She was shocked, how could he be so much the alpha one moment and so much a man the next? Before Sivanna could respond, Vilkas pulled her arm so that she fell into him. His arms wrapped around her and his head leaned against her own. Sivanna blushed hard and her skin felt hot, _what am I to do?_ She asked her wolf desperately, but there was no answer from the wolf. Instead she remembered Aela's words _You are the lowest ranking member in the pack, if we tell you to do something, you do it._


	12. Nightmare

**I know it's been a while, but a lot has happened since last I wrote. I've lost a lot of friends and family in the past few months so I hope you'll forgive my tardy posts. I'll try to be more regular. Thank you for your support**

**reviews=love :)**

**Under The Influence**

"Now hold steady, don't lock your arm! Try to breathe without moving your body...or, you could just hold your breath. Good. Your back must be straight, never look away from the target! Remember, it takes time to get the aiming just so, but do not wait until your arms start to shake...you will most definitely miss." Aela instructed.

Sivanna let her breath out slowly, as her arms started to ache. "May I shoot it yet?", she asked.

"If you believe you are ready." Aela replied.

The arrow ripped from Sivanna's fingers, flying into the target. "I hit it!" She was so pleased, she had managed to hit the target!

"Don't get too excited just yet," Aela warned, "You missed the bulls-eye." She pulled the arrow from the hay target. Sivanna's arrow had landed the third ring in the circle. _I hit it. You drag me out here to "practice" but don't even praise my good work?_ Sivanna thought irritatedly. She had been in Farkas' room the whole night, and he had stayed on guard in front of the door the entire time. _I wonder where Vilkas slept?_

"Archery, is for those with patience. If you wish to learn to use a bow correctly, then you will heed my words. Otherwise I will send you off to Vilkas for training with swords." Aela said.

"No! I mean, no thank you. I'd rather learn to shoot the stem from an apple before I train with two handed weapons." Sivanna told her.

Aela raised her eyebrows, "Oh? Well you have no need to worry, Vilkas isn't here to train you."

"He's not? Where is he?", Sivanna asked before she stop herself.

"Preparing for a hunting trip, and you will be accompanying him."

"_What?_ Why do I have to go? I just shot my first arrow! This is the first time I have ever touched a bow!" Sivanna looked at the weapon in her hand, it was a simple long bow. The wood was fine, carved to perfection. She could see herself fighting as a human rather than a beast for once. Maybe it _was_ possible. It fit snug in her hand, yet she was not yet ready trust her life to an instrument of wood and string.

"You need to be a part of the hunt, feel what it is that you should be doing. You will learn more out there than you will shooting at a bail of hay with me." Aela said.

"But...you will be coming as well, won't you?" Sivanna asked.

"No. I am needed elsewhere."

"_Elsewhere?_ You are to teach me to use a bow! The only _elsewhere_ you should be is here aiding me!", Sivanna quipped worriedly.

Aela stared at her, "Since when does the new blood give orders to Aela The Huntress? You are the lowest ranking member in the pack, if we tell you to do something, you do it. Now, keep practicing until summoned by myself or one of the others."

Aela turned and walked away from Sivanna, leaving her feeling humbled and humiliated. The beast whined softly for comfort and Sivanna turned back to her target. She lifted her bow and drew an arrow, letting her finger lightly rest on the shaft of it as a guide. _Take a deep breath,_ she told herself. All her focus was on her target, the red dot in the middle of the hay. The arrow let loose and flew into the hay with a thunk.

"Not bad", said a voice.

Sivanna whirled, it had been Skjor who had spoken. The man with the silver ponytail and milky eye was watching her, smiling slightly. He made Sivanna nervous, he seemed more beast than man.

"Thank you, sir." She said politely.

Skjor waved a hand, "I'm no sir. Just so, have they got you convinced that you must learn to fight on two legs?"

"What do you mean?" Sivanna asked, confused.

"All of them here will swear to The Eight that you have to learn to use _weapons_ in order to be a warrior." He said, clearly irritated.

She cocked her head, "You mean, you don't know how to use a sword or bow?"

Skjor scoffed, "Of course I do, girl, I just don't need 'em. Aela says it'll get me killed someday, but that's more a reason to keep as I am. A man's got to prove his woman wrong, no honor in being weak willed."

The beast didn't like him, she gave Sivanna a chill in her spine. "I think it might be good to learn to use a bow so I can hunt and bring food back here to Jorrvaskr that isn't full of holes from my fangs. I'd like to be able to repay you all for your kindness, and maybe give some of my kills to the less fortunate." She remembered very well what it was like to be hungry, and she didn't want others to face it's terror.

Skjor turned his head so his eye might better see her, "Naive aren't you, those _less fortunate_ need to take care of themselves. Won't rise far in the pack with that kind a thinkin. It's a beast's world, and only the strongest beasts survive, that's the way it's been and the way it'll be."

She didn't know what to say, so she turned back to her target and resumed her practice. All the while conscious of Skjor's uncomfortable stares. Sivanna had used all her arrows by the time he had left, and her arms and back ached with the effort she had put into her work. She seated herself on the ground, exhausted.

The sun had gone below the walls of the city and the air was starting to pick up a chill._ It's nice to know where we'll be bedding next, isn't it? _Sivanna asked her beast. The wolf gave no response, only silence filled her head. She sighed, laying down and closing her eyes. She thought of the hunting trip she was to take with Vilkas. _It is going to be a disaster,_ she thought irritatedly. Vilkas clashed with her every time he saw her. Even so, she wasn't sure what to make of him. He seemed earnest enough about helping her, but what did he want to fix? Did he want to unmake her? Did he want to teach her how to survive and be around others without worry? Sivanna did not know.

Just then she heard a door burst open feet dragging themselves out onto the the porch. Sivanna sat up and turned to see Vilkas staggering between the tables toward her. She could smell the mead on him, it was strong. His face was slightly red as he nearly fell down beside her.

"I never meant for things to be this way.", he told her, looking out at the stars that were appearing in the sky. "I always thought I'd find you and save you from yourself, and you would think me a hero."

Vilkas looked at her then, eyes storming. _He's sad!_ She realized with shock. _I should probably say something to him..._"Most times things don't turn out they way we think they ought to.", Sivanna said, patting his shoulder awkwardly.

His gaze turned to her hand upon his shoulder, and he grabbed it. His speed was impressive for his drunken state. "I thought you would fall in love with me and we would live they way they do in the old stories." he scoffed, "How could I ever think a girl might fall for me, what with the way I am?"

Sivanna was confused, she knew he wasn't quite himself...but could that all be true? He pulled her hand to the ground. Vilkas held it with a firm grip, and yet he seemed to be taking care with her, as if she might break. She was starting to feel uncomfortably aware of how close he was, their sides almost touching. There had to be something she could do to make this less...strange.

"I'm sure there's been many a girl that's loved you Vilkas, you are...handsome." She cringed at her own words, _handsome? _Even if he was too drunk to remember what she had said, that was not the right thing to say.

"Handsome?" He lifted his head, "Handsome doesn't make for love, it makes for a good bedding." Sivanna blushed. "Even so, thank you for that, Sivanna."

That was the first time he had ever called her name, and though he _was_ handsome and she enjoyed hearing his voice, she knew he was right. Love was not something a look alone could make. "Then you will have to try to be a man that a woman would want to keep.", Sivanna told him.

"Are you asking me to try?", he cocked his head at her.

"Is love what you're looking for?", she asked him.

He thought about it, "I'm not sure anymore."

"Then yes," Sivanna nodded, "You should try."

Vilkas lifted her hand to his face and inhaled her scent, it was an odd thing to witness. His eyes were closed as he pressed the palm of her hand to his face. She could feel stubble there on his cheek, strong, wiry, and yet soft. This whole situation was getting too heavy for her.

"Would you hold me for a night, Sivanna?" he rumbled softly, his accent thick with emotion.

"Hold you? Vilkas...you've had much to drink and you aren't thinking as yourself." she said as she began to panic.

"Then will you hold me now? We don't have to bed each other. I only want you to know what it's like to have someone's arms around you, and not need to worry for once."

She was shocked, how could he be so much the alpha one moment and so much a man the next? Before Sivanna could respond, Vilkas pulled her arm so that she fell into him. His arms wrapped around her and his head leaned against her own. Sivanna blushed hard and her skin felt hot, _what am I to do?_ She asked her wolf desperately, but there was no answer from the wolf. Instead she remembered Aela's words _You are the lowest ranking member in the pack, if we tell you to do something, you do it._


	13. Plagued By Trouble

******This chapter was hard to write, but I'm happy with it. I hope you enjoy it :)**

**Plagued By Trouble**

_Clop clack, clack clop. _The horses hooves beat a steady rhythm as Sivanna and Vilkas made their way through the streets of Whiterun. The sun had started to peek over the mountains to the east, and already Sivanna and Vilkas were heading out. There were said to be prides of snow sabre cats causing trouble near Morthal, and The Companions were called in for help. Kodlak had asked for Vilkas to take Sivanna and handle the cats without trouble and bring back their coats. Sivanna understood that she was being tested, yet that made her even more uneasy. She was still shaken from her nightmare, and being around Vilkas was always worrisome. He was just too unpredictable, wild... Either way, this was sure to be a disaster.

"Are you content with staying far behind, or wouldn't you rather pick up speed so we can get this over with?" Vilkas asked, he sounded annoyed.

"Why do we need horses?", Sivanna asked, "We're wolves, we can run much faster than these...things."

Vilkas sighed, "It would raise questions if we arrived on foot faster than a man on his steed. And, we have to carry back the fur of at least three sabre cats. As wolves we might tear the fur, or it might even slow us down."

Sivanna snorted, "Well can I walk then? I do not feel comfortable up here."

"As you wish, but don't fall behind, I will not wait for a milk drinker." He spurred his horse and went on ahead.

Sivanna's beast whined softly, in either form there was a problem with Vilkas. As the wolf, Sivanna was afraid that he would feel the need to dominate her and keep her at the bottom of the pack, and as a human she feared that he might banish her. Even if he did neither of these things, he had a sharp tongue. _I wonder if he even knows how he hurts others?_ Sivanna thought to herself.

She pulled on the reins so the horse would stop, and hopped off. The big brown horse shook itself, clearly happy to be rid of her. _I guess I will wait until we are out of sight, and then shift so we can keep up. _Sivanna told her beast. Vilkas was getting farther ahead, but Sivanna couldn't stand riding. This was her first time riding a horse, and she hated it. The filly had no love for her either, which made things even worse. _Just another thing for Vilkas to rub my nose in,_ she thought. The beast flashed a memory in her head, it was the alpha pushing another wolf to the ground by the back of its neck. _That makes things much better!_ Sivanna thought sarcastically to her beast.

She eyed the horse,"I do not really like you, and I'm sure you like me not, but better you let me ride you than have my wolf snapping at your feet." She bent her legs and jumped awkwardly onto the filly. After quite a bit of struggling, Sivanna situated herself into place. The horse neighed, clearly displeased.

"You're just going to have to get used to it, neither of us has a choice." Sivanna told the filly.

It snorted and began trotting to where Vilkas and his horse had stopped to wait for them. It was not that riding was hard, the filly knew what to do. Sivanna wasn't used to traveling on the back of another animal. She did not need a ride, she could walk herself. Horses were only animals that humans used to haul their belongings.

"Decided to ride after all? Good, for a moment there I thought I would have to pull your reins for you." Vilkas said as he turned his horse back to the road and continued onward. Sivanna said nothing, _Maybe if I never talk back, it will be easier to be around him._ She thought to herself.

For a long while they rode in silence, only stopping to relieve themselves. They ate dried fruits and seared slaughterfish from packs that Tilma had tied to their saddles. The silence was nice, and every so often a farmer or two would pass by going to either Windhelm or Solitude to join the war. Once, a whole khajiit caravan passed by. Sivanna had never seen the cat people of Elesweyr, and they fascinated her. Some had long fur and some had short, some looked like fearsome wild cats and others looked more like the smaller ones that ran the streets in some cities. Vilkas paid them no mind as he passed, so Sivanna had no choice but to keep going. She wished she could stop and learn more about them, _maybe someday I will get the chance..._

It was sometime later when Vilkas spoke again. "We're stopping for the night.", He told Sivanna as he slid off of his horse.

She looked at the sky, the sun was still high above them. "It's just midday, why are we stopping?", she asked.

"There's a storm coming, and a nasty one at that. Do you not feel it? Your beast can tell you these things if you let it."

Sivanna was confused,"But my beast has been quiet for most of the day, she has not stirred since this morning."

Vilkas looked at her,"Yes, she knows what is coming. Now come on, I do not wish to be caught out in this weather." He led her away from the road to a place where three giant boulders stood leaning against one another. Underneath them there was room for the two companions, their horses, and a fire. Sivanna tied her horse to a nearby pine tree and began to unpack the bedroll from her saddle.

"I will go gather wood for a fire.", Vilkas said over his shoulder, "And you will set up the camp while I'm out."

"As you will.",Sivanna replied as he went into the woods. She watched him go, still wondering why she agreed to stay in Whiterun in the first place. Fresh food and a place to lie her head were a luxury she would not pass up easily, but she didn't have much choice. Either live in the wild, or deal with Vilkas. He had turned her into a wolf and changed her life forever, and it did not seem to bother him in the least that she had to come find him. Ten years and he had stayed in Whiterun, never even giving her a second thought, not that she needed him to think about her...yet it would have been nice to have been guided through her first shift.

Sivanna sighed and continued to set up the camp, removing rocks and sticks from where she and her alpha would be sleeping and clearing a place for the fire. When she had everything just so, she left the small cave to sit on a stump near the road. Sivanna could see that the path they were taking would lead them through the mountains, and she knew what mountains meant; danger. There were trolls and bears and all sorts of things in the mountains, not to mention the blizzards. Sivanna looked back the way they had come, the road was empty. _Something isn't right..._ The forest was quiet, the birds had stopped singing and she could not even hear any insects rustling in the leaves. The hair on the back of her neck began to rise. The air was getting thicker, almost choking her. Sivanna stood up slowly and began to walk back toward the camp. She could see the horses now, their eyes wide and their reigns pulled tight against the pine tree they were tied to. Carefully pulling the bow from her back, she grabbed an arrow from her quiver. Something was rustling in the bushes about fifty feet from the cave. Sivanna readied her arrow and took a deep breath. The rustling stopped and for what seemed like an eternity nothing happened, but then a bear came rushing out at her. Sivanna let loose her arrow, but it missed.

"Shit!", she exclaimed as she reached for another arrow. The bear was roaring at her as it ran. Large yellow fangs gleamed at her from it's gaping jaws. Sivanna's hands began to tremble, every time she ever encountered anything dangerous she had run, but there was no time now. She pulled the bow string back and let her next arrow fly. It caught the beast in the shoulder, but the animal did not slow down. It only roared louder. The bear was close now, too close. Only a second or two more and it would be on top of her.

_Crack!_ The bear sat dazed for a moment before it figured out what had happened. A large piece of wood lay beside the bear and blood was starting to trickle down the side of it's head. Sivanna turned to see Vilkas standing near the bushes the bear had come from, with a pile of wood at his feet.

"Oi!", he yelled,"You overgrown skeever, come and get it!" He threw another log and hit the angry beast in the head once more. It shook itself roaring, and ran at him. Vilkas growled angrily and picked up a large branch from his pile and held it like a sword. The bear leaped at him and before Sivanna could even scream, Vilkas had swung the branch and brought the beast to the ground. Sivanna watched as he raised the branch high and sent it down on the bear's head with amazing strength. Vilkas continued to hammer the branch into the bear until at last the makeshift weapon broke and the bear moved no more. He dropped the broken branch and stood over the lifeless animal panting and covered in blood. Sivanna was too afraid to move. _I should be dead..._

"Trouble." Vilkas panted,"You are plagued with trouble." He bent himself and put his hands on his knees,"Did it hurt you?" he asked.

"N-no.", she managed.

"Good, then come over here and help me. We will need this fur.", Vilkas pulled an iron dagger from it's sheath at his side and held it out to her. He was still panting when she began to walk over to him.

"Come on now,", he said,"The storm will be here any minute and I'd like to wash the blood off of this bear skin before I use it."

Sivanna took the dagger,"Thank you.", she whispered.

Vilkas cocked his head at her,"What did you say?"

Sivanna squirmed, "I-I said...thank you."

For a moment he just stood there looking at her. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, but for once, he didn't look mad.


	14. The Overcoming

**The Overcoming**

It took a long time to skin the bear, it was messy and hard work. Vilkas told Sivanna it was important that she know how to properly skin an animal in case she got stranded in the cold or needed some quick coin. The two had cleaned the fur, yet it still smelled strongly of bear. So instead of warming themselves with the new fur as Vilkas had hoped, they would be using the bedrolls Tilma had packed them for the night. Vilkas also reminded her about the ice storm quickly approaching, so they were bedding early. It was a strange thing, lying so close to him. The bedrolls were barely three feet apart, since both Sivanna and Vilkas tried to sleep as close to the warm embers as they could. The horses reins were tied to a large rock that stood erect at the back of their cave.

"Are you certain the horses cannot get loose?", Sivanna asked. She was worried that when the storm came the horses might startle and trample her and the alpha. Many horses had kicked her as a child in the Dawnstar stables, and she did not wish to feel it again.

Vilkas rolled his eyes,"Do you fear everything? You are a companion, and a member of the werewolf pack of Whiterun! It is high time you proved your worth, and you can't do that by acting the craven."

Sivanna huffed but said nothing more about the horses, "So, are you going to shift first or am I?"

"Shift? There will be no shifting. Others could happen upon our camp and wish to warm themselves by the fire, if they saw wolves they would surely attack." Vilkas grumbled as he began to remove his armor piece by piece. The heavy metal made clanking noises as he set them next to his bed. She watched him work, he took great care with all his armor and weapons just as a warrior would. Sivanna was no warrior, and yet neither was she a craven, she was a beast. A wolf, for ten years now. It had been so long, she had forgotten what life had been like before her turning. She _never_ slept in the woods as a human.

"I have never slept without shifting.",she said stubbornly as she sit on the furs that were her bed. Her alpha turned to glare at her, "You will do as I say, _new blood_." For a moment, Sivanna stared into his eyes defiantly. Yet when they started to bleed into a bright amber, she turned her head. "That's better," Vilkas told her. "Wouldn't be right of you to think you could go against my word."

"If it please you, I'll sit watch then.", Sivanna said.

"As you will.", Vilkas mumbled, already turning over under his furs. _Is it always to be this way?_ Sivanna wondered. _Am I doomed to be under his rule for the rest of my life? _ It would seem so, the gods had no mind to change for her just yet. She sighed, and turned her gaze to the cave entrance. It had been a long day, the two wolves had fought for most of it, and when they were not fighting, a bear had been attacking them. _He can't hate me_, she told her beast, _If that were so he could have let the bear tear me apart, but he did no such thing. _He had saved her, but why? He held no love for her, did pack law require that he protect her? Sivanna turned back to the man from her nightmares, surely he couldn't be so bad. Vilkas was lying on his side with his back to her when the beast inside her stirred. The wolf remembered his scent; cloves and musk. She wanted to be closer to her alpha. _Have you gone mad? He's callous and cold, what reason have you to wish to be closer to him?_ Sivanna asked her wolf. The beast showed her a memory, it was her and a pack of wild wolves. Their bodies draped over each other as they slept, their fur blending into a giant pile of warmth. Sivanna had to admit, the closeness of those nights was a comfort she missed.

"What's this...", Vilkas paused in shock,"Are you feeling ill?"

Sivanna's beast had taken control of her. She had an arm on either side of Vilkas, and her body, although not straddling him, was quite close to his. Sivanna had pulled the furs off of her alpha, and found that no shirt covered his chest. He turned over onto his back and she bent down with closed eyes and inhaled the scent of him deeply. It was so sweet...

"Sivanna..." His breath puffed against her hair that was spilling between their faces. Her eyes had shifted and her sight was much better. She could see his heartbeat in the veins of his neck, slow and steady. Vilkas put his arms against her shoulders and began to push her away. A growl escaped her lips, and he stopped. "Sivanna you must quiet this strange behavior." Comprehension washed over Vilkas's face as he moved the hair from between them. "If you cannot gain control of your beast, I'll have to do it for you.",he warned.

That caught her attention, she shoved herself off of him. Fighting with the wolf, it gave up rather quickly. Her beast was already satisfied, she had gotten what she had wanted. "I-I'm so sorry. That does not happen, ever!" she told Vilkas desperately. Sivanna was sure that her face shown scarlet in the dim light. Vilkas propped himself on his elbows and watched her for a moment before asking, "What is it that your beast was wanting?" His face was unreadable, careful. _What is he thinking? What is going to happen now? Oh what have you done?_ She yelled at her wolf.

"Your scent..."

He nodded,"Come here." Sivanna cocked her head."I said come here!" Startled, she crawled toward him. The alpha sat up, reached for her arm, and pulled her close until their faces were only a hand's length apart. His eyes flashed amber for a moment, and then it was gone. "Your wolf is strong, and so are you...yet your weak will holds you back. Were you afraid that I would punish you?"

Sivanna only stared at him."The wolf is part of who you are now, but you have to keep yourself in balance. If not, you will be devoured by your own beast. You had no control until she got what she wanted, isn't that so?" Sivanna was shocked, could her beast really trap her in her own body...forever?

"What does your beast want now?", He asked her.

She thought about it, silently hoping the wolf was done for the night. Of course, that was not what her beast had in mind. "She...she wants to sleep like the wolves do..."

"I have already forbidden it.", he said irritably.

"No, I think she wants...", Sivanna couldn't bring herself to finish.

"To sleep next to one another?", Vilkas asked.

She only nodded. Never had she been more embarrassed.

"What are you going to do then?"

Sivanna wasn't sure, should she ask to sleep next to Vilkas and please the wolf? Or should she go back to her own bedroll and ignore her wolf.

"I-I'm unsure. What should I do, Vilkas?",she asked desperately. "I do not want to be lost to the wolf."

"You do what _you_ want to do. You have to be the alpha to your own wolf, otherwise you will lose.", He told her. Sivanna searched his face, there were no other answers there. _What do I want? _Vilkas let go of her arm and watched her. Slowly, she crawled back to her bed and settled in. She made sure her back was turned to her alpha, and just before she closed her eyes she saw the first snowflake fall.

**Not sure about this chapter, I'm trying to not make things happen too fast...lol I think I'm failing at that. Let me know if it seems a little too soon, it's kind of hard to resist. (I'm a hopeless romantic) But if it's ruining the story I'll fix it! Thanks for reading! :)**


	15. The First

**The First**

"_Arooooo!" _Sivanna howled as she ran. Her muscles stretched as she darted through the snow. Flakes still fell from the sky, and Sivanna would playfully pounce on each that landed near her. The ice storm had gone on throughout the night and now the snow was deep enough that she and Vilkas had to hunt as wolves for food. Most of their firewood had been burned during the night and her alpha advised that the two should try to save as much as they could, so for now they would be wolves. She had not been this happy for some time now, it was always nice to be the wolf. As the wolf her world was boundless, Sivanna had all she could need and was wanting for nothing...until now.

Vilkas sat with his tail wrapped around him, covering his paws from the chill. Sivanna was aware of his stare as she ran about, yet as the wolf she was not worried. Sivanna barked happily as she ran to her alpha, sliding to a stop right before his paws and slinging snow onto his muzzle. Sivanna yipped at him, with her head low, her tail high and wagging. He shook the snow from his head and huffed before lifting himself to wander away.

Sivanna's beast was not so easily discouraged, she ran in front of the larger wolf to cut him off and growled playfully. Her alpha looked down at her and snarled, it scared Sivanna, but her wolf was beginning to get frustrated. The beast turned so her side was in front of him and lowered her head, snarling back at the alpha. _What has gotten into you? _Sivanna screamed at her wolf, _He will kill us! Or throw us out of the pack!_ Her wolf paid no mind, as she paced before Vilkas. _Oh no, you've angered him! _Sivanna yelled at her wolf as Vilkas jumped onto her side. Sivanna's beast whipped her head to try and bite the larger wolf but she lacked the reach. She struggled under him as she tried to escape, but he was too heavy for her. Vilkas bit her leg, making her whine and growl harder as she grabbed his muzzle with her teeth. He jumped in shock and she used her bought time to stand her ground. Small amounts of blood dripped from her leg and Vilkas's jaw.

The alpha glared into Sivanna's eyes, and her beast growled again. His hackles were rising and spittle started to drip from his mouth, mixing with the blood in the snow. Sivanna could see his muscles bunching for another attack, and this time her wolf was ready. He jumped at her and Sivanna darted out of his path and caught his tail in her jaws. Vilkas yowled and whipped himself sideways, pulling Sivanna off balance. He stood on his hind legs and pushed her down with his front paws, putting his jaws around her neck hard enough that she could not breathe. He growled at Sivanna, and she could feel the fangs beginning to cut into her skin. _Submit! _Sivanna pleaded desperately to her wolf, _Would you rather we die? _Reluctantly, her beast went limp and whimpered at her alpha.

After a long few moments, Vilkas released her. Sivanna knew he was still angry, she could smell it, so she stayed on the ground where she lay. Vilkas barked and growled at her, scolding her for being so naïve. Sivanna rolled onto her back and averted her eyes. Her alpha growled a bit more before he turned and left her there. The wound on her leg was starting to sting, so she licked off the blood and cleaned it as best she could. There was nothing to do about the small puncture wounds on her neck, she couldn't reach them. All Sivanna could do was hope they didn't get infected before she shifted back.

Vilkas was no longer in the clearing, so Sivanna decided to head back to the cave. She felt humiliated and scared, _We have probably been exiled from the pack..._ Sivanna thought to herself. _Where will we go now? _She did not want to leave, there had to be a way to make amends. Sivanna was limping, her front leg lifted so as not to put pressure on her wounds. It took her some time to finally return to the camp, and still Vilkas was nowhere to be seen. Sivanna entered the cave and lay on her bedroll, cleaning her scratches again. She decided that she would just sleep, and wait for whatever came next.

When Sivanna awoke, she could smell the sweet scent of wine. She opened her eyes and saw Vilkas tilting a wine barrel over the fire. He wore linen britches and a linen tunic, it must have been what he wore under his armor. He had four long scratches from just below his left eye to the side of his nose, where her teeth had cut him. The scratches didn't look to be very deep, but they might scar if he couldn't find a poultice for them. Sivanna sat up and whined, her leg was sore and had bled while she had slept.

"Shift, I need your help with this.", Vilkas told her as she licked her wound. Sivanna did not dare disobey, not after what had transpired earlier. She stood and stretched her muscles before changing, it seemed to help with the pain some, yet her front leg disagreed. Sivanna's fur receded and she shrank back into her human body, taking care to shift her leg as slowly as she could. When at last she had turned, she hurriedly slipped on a tunic and britches of her own.

"Now then, come here and turn the barrel while I hold it up.", said Vilkas.

She stood and came to him, grabbing the barrel and turning it slowly around the fire. It was heavy and the effort hurt her right arm, where Vilkas had bitten her. It looked awful, her skin had deep cuts from his teeth all across her forearm. Blood still oozed from her as she pushed the barrel along.

"What are we doing?",Sivanna asked.

"Thawing wine", Vilkas grumbled as he held the weight of it. They continued to push it in a circle over the hot flame for a while before either of them spoke again.

"That should do, just step back, I will handle it." Vilkas said as he set the barrel upright. Sivanna sat down on her bedroll and watched her alpha. He went to his horse and untied a mug from his saddle. Vilkas returned to his prize and found the cork that held the sweet smelling liquid back.

"Where did you find a wine barrel?",Sivanna asked.

"Hidden under a hollowed log, whoever left it there won't be finding it again." He pulled the cork and the red liquid spilled into his tankard. With the wine out of it's case, the scent was much stronger. It was a heady scent that tickled Sivanna's nose. She had never drank wine, or mead for that matter. Sivanna had only had water and it had always been enough for her.

Vilkas took a drink before turning to Sivanna,"We need to talk about what happened out there."

Sivanna held her wounded arm to her chest and looked at the ground "Can it wait?",she whispered.

"What reason have I to wait?", Vilkas asked.

Sivanna bit her lip, tears forming in her eyes."I wish to wait, for a little. Please?"

She could feel him staring, yet he said nothing. Vilkas downed his mug, never taking his eyes from her. He refilled the tankard and sat beside her,"You'll attract beasts with that." he gestured to her arm, "Let me see it." Sivanna hesitantly put her hand in his, he looked it over and lifted the wine above it.

She jerked her hand away, "It will burn me!" She exclaimed worriedly.

Vilkas cursed,"You've made me spill some of it! Aagh, it'll only hurt for a little."

Sivanna cradled her arm, she knew that wine in a wound felt like hornets in her veins. "I have no need of it."

"If you're that worried, then here,",Vilkas shoved the mug into her left hand."Drink."

"I..",Sivanna started.

"I said drink!", Vilkas commanded.

Sivanna took a sip, it was not as sweet as it smelled... it had a strange taste; as if the grapes were steeped with nettles. A mild fire crept down her throat as she swallowed and it caused her to cough. She felt the burn creep all the way into her stomach, it was an odd sensation. She took another sip, and again the fire settled in her belly.

"All of it." Vilkas told her.

Sivanna looked at the tankard, it was very large. She could sip it, but she did not want to prolong the feeling of flames in her throat. Sivanna tilted the mug to her lips and drank it in. The taste made it hard, but she finished the drink and set the empty tankard next to Vilkas. Fire filled her stomach now, and her face was starting to feel warm.

Vilkas grabbed the empty mug and walked back to his saddle, untying another tankard. He filled them both and returned to his spot beside Sivanna. He handed her a drink as he sat himself, "Have a bit more." She did, the taste seemed to fade as she drank. The fire had spread throughout her body, making her warm and giddy.

After she had nearly finished her wine, Vilkas asked,"Let me see your arm."

Sivanna was unafraid now, she gave him her hand and watched as he began to pour the liquid over the bloody wounds. The pain was slight, yet she could still feel it. Vilkas emptied his tankard over her arm, and the wine dripped onto the bedroll. "Oh nooo.", Sivanna giggled.

"Don't fret, the bear skin should be clean enough to use tonight." Vilkas told her as he lifted his wrist to his mouth. Sivanna watched as he bit his sleeve and pulled his arm away, tearing the cloth from the tunic. "This will should keep your scratches from becoming infected." Once again Vilkas took her hand, but this time he wrapped the torn sleeve around her forearm and tied it.

"Thank you.", Sivanna said, smiling broadly.

Her alpha looked from her to her nearly empty mug, "That should be enough for you."

Sivanna clutched the wine to her chest and turned,"No, I like it! I want some more."

Vilkas gave her a look, but said no more. He merely finished his tankard and rose to refill it. Sivanna downed the drink and said happily,"I'll have another!"

"As you will.", Vilkas said,"But you'll have to fetch it yourself."

"Alright then!" Sivanna stood too quickly, and swayed slightly. "Oh." She righted herself and staggered over to the barrel. Vilkas pulled the cork for her, and Sivanna filled her mug.

"I think I'll sit here.", she said as she slid down the barrel. The world seemed so slow, she felt as if she could do anything! It was almost as good as being the wolf, yet as the wolf she had much better balance.

"How is your neck?", Vilkas asked as he sat on his bedroll.

Sivanna lifted her hand to her neck, she could feel where his teeth had grazed the skin. It was sticky with blood, but he must not have gone too deep since Sivanna was still breathing. "It's got blood on it.",she told him.

"Aye. Does it hurt?", He asked.

"I can not feel it.",she replied.

Vilkas nodded,"Lie down."

"Wha?",she slurred.

Her alpha sighed and came to her,"Lie down."

"What are we doing?",she asked.

Sivanna's heartbeat sped as he put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her down slowly. He took the collar of her tunic in his hand and pulled it away from her neck. "Are we...", Sivanna started. Her face reddened harder and she looked away from Vilkas, giggling.

"What?", he asked. His accent sent a chill down her spine and she rocked onto her side toward Vilkas. Sivanna wanted to scuffle and romp with him. She reached for his arm, and he took her hand and held it to the ground. "Sivanna, hold still."

She snickered,"You did it again."

Vilkas cocked his head at her,"Again? I have done nothing _again_."

"You called me Sivanna.",she said.

"Is it not your name?",Vilkas asked.

"Yes, I like the way you say it.",she smiled."Sivannaa.",she purred to him. He still held her arm, so she had nowhere to go but closer to her alpha. She rolled onto his lap and hugged him, "Vilkas The Big Bad Wolf!"

"Whoa.",Vilkas pried her arms from him and rolled her onto her back. "Lie down and stay there." Sivanna's tunic had shifted so he pulled it away from her neck once more. Vilkas snatched his mug from beside the barrel and tipped it over her neck. Cold wine spilled over her and caused her to shiver. "It's freezing!"she told him.

"Aye.",Vilkas replied. He began to rub her neck gently, removing the blood and cleaning the cuts. Sivanna's beast stirred, she was being touched by an alpha, _her_ alpha. To the wolf, there was one thing in the pack that she should strive for; alpha female. An alpha male would choose his mate from the females in his pack, and Sivanna was in _this_ pack. Her alpha had no mate, yet he was touching _her_. She watched him as he worked, and when he left to clean his hands in the snow she sat up and scented the air. She could smell her alpha, the wine, her blood, and other less pleasant smells such as the horses and the bear skin.

"Now that you are all taken care of, I will have some for myself.",Vilkas said as he sat down beside the barrel. He drank two mugs before speaking again,"You've been feeling quite courageous today haven't you?"

"Yes, I...I am ready to talk about what happened now.", she said.

"Is that so?", Vilkas raised his eyebrows. "Well then, what would you like to say for yourself?"

"I wanted to play." Sivanna pouted. "Can it be so awful for you to be around the _whelp_ that you cannot play?"

Vilkas chuckled,"Is that what you wish to say?"

"Yes." Sivanna replied.

He looked at her, "What would you have told me earlier, if I had asked?"

Sivanna looked down at her arm,"I would have pleaded with you not to make me leave..."

Vilkas nodded, "As I thought." He sighed. "Sivanna, you weren't born for the bottom of the pack. Your wolf knows that, and so do I..."

Not having heard most of what Vilkas had said, she replied, "My wolf knows lots of things! Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't just let her do some of the hard things _for_ me. I know she wants to, she wants _you_...but I've never done that."

"Never done what?",Vilkas asked.

"Bedded anyone.",she giggled. Vilkas said nothing. "My beast is much more brave than I am. She wants to do those things with _you_, but I am unsure. I think I should just let her take over sometimes.", Sivanna mused.

Vilkas glanced at the fire,"We need more wood for our fire, I will be back shortly." He got up to leave, and walked briskly past Sivanna.

"H-hold on!", Sivanna started. She stood and wobbled after him, he was just at the entrance of the cave. Sivanna reached for him as he was walking away, she tripped and began to fall. Just before Sivanna thought she would hit the ground, Vilkas caught her. He lifted her back onto her feet and turned to leave again. "Wait...", Sivanna said quietly as she took his hand. The alpha turned back to look at her. Neither of them said anything for a moment, and Sivanna almost let go. Yet just before she did, Vilkas took her face in his hands and kissed her. Vilkas tasted of wine, and cloves. His kiss was hard at first, rough in a very Vilkas kind of way, yet when Sivanna wrapped her arms around him and kissed back, he softened. Sivanna marveled at his mouth, all she had ever known it to be capable of was scowling spilling harsh words, yet now she learned that he had lover's lips and they were much better at kissing than scowling. The two werewolves seemed to melt in each others arms, it was as if they had both been holding their breath until that moment, and now they could finally breathe.

"I'm sorry.", Vilkas rumbled against her lips, "I've always been sorry."

Sivanna smiled, and he bit her lip gently. Vilkas rubbed his cheek against hers, and Sivanna felt the world start to tip and then it went black.


End file.
